Forgiveness

A little less than a year ago, my church held their annual revival. But before the revival began the Lord gave my Pastor a message about having your heart prepared for revival and if there is bitterness in your heart you can not be properly prepared! I felt that this message was just for me and it was! God always knows what we need and when we need it... we just need to listen to that still small voice, although in my case it wasn't a small voice; it was loud and clear voice. "Jessica I forgave you, You can forgive her!" I heard that over and over!
It began 3 years prior when I was deeply hurt and wounded by someone I loved very much! Someone that I thought could never ever hurt me, but she did! I let bitterness build and build inside me for 3 years too long and it was time to do the right thing! As soon as I left that service I called her and asked her to forgive me for being mad for so long. And the following poem was something that was from my heart, because at the time I did not know how to express what I was going through or feeling. So I am not a writer nor a poet but I had to somehow find the words to express this trial in my life because it had such a great impact on me!

I am ashamed to say
That I have been harboring bitterness deep inside me,
And it just would not let my conscience be.
Because I know that it’s not the Christian way!

I felt wronged and betrayed
By someone I held so near and dear,
But losing her would be my biggest fear.
So knowing what I must do, let not my conscience be swayed.

I must follow Christ’s example.
He was wronged and betrayed more than I, but He still forgave.
He that had no sin, died for us to save.
I must forgive her as well, so that I can be found faithful.

I can not see the future as God can.
Because when this trial first came into my life
All I could see was heart ache and strife,
But now I realize I must follow God’s plan!

God is the Author of my story.
And although I long for the bond we once had,
If I follow Christ’s example it can not be bad,
And to God be the Glory!

Let all bitterness , and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31,32

As a child I recited this verse probably a thousand times, but as an adult I fully understand its importance in fullness and appreciate it so much more!